The Crazy Kitchen: Not Cybermummy 2011

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Monday, 27 June 2011

Not Cybermummy 2011

Everyone it seems is blogging and tweeting about Cybermummy, but not this Cyber-Mummy for on the weekend of Cybermummy 2011, when all the lovely Mummy (and Daddy) bloggers were meeting up for meals or other interesting activities (damn I missed out on a Dildo decorating party!), staying in posh hotels and attending many workshops aimed at helping them out in the land of Blog,  I was sitting on a camping chair watching Morrissey in the rain whilst wearing very muddy wellies, a cheap plastic poncho and a very wet straw hat at the Glastonbury Festival 2011.


The weekend was certainly an experience, and possibly not one that I will be repeating. I don't regret going one bit, I had a great time (mostly) but I just don't think it is my cup of tea. I'm not massively into music although I do enjoy the atmosphere of being at a live concert but I would much prefer to be watching from a hillside sitting on a picnic blanket in the sun, sipping a nice cold glass of something fizzy rather than standing ankle deep in mud in the rain!


If I was to do it all again though I have made myself a little check-list


  • Don't have the dangly wristband (that must be worn all weekend) attached to your bum wiping hand
  • Paint all nails with a dark nail polish (preferably black or dark brown) so you don't notice the grime building up underneath them
  • Pack some highly scented baby wipes - unscented just don't cut it under these conditions
  • Take a large water carrier - it's not easy carrying a washing up bowl full of water 300 yards uphill in the mud
  • Even if you are with someone that knows their way around make sure you take notice of which way you're going as that person may not be with you all the time
  • Try not to arrive back at the tent alone - this would avoid 10 minutes of huffing, puffing and swearing trying to remove that second welly from a tired and puffy foot
  • Make your way to a toilet at least 30 minutes before you need to go.
  • After finding a decent spot with a good view of the stage in preparation of seeing a band that you really want to see don't then drink 3 cans of cider, see above point.
  • If you don't like queuing to have a shower then 3am is a good time to have one.
  • If you have a highly sensitive sense of smell having a tissue doused in Olbas oil pressed firmly up against your nose is the only way to enter a portaloo.
  • Take a can or two of Impulse, by Day 2 it will become your best friend for more than one reason (see above point)
  • Don't worry about how ridiculous you look, when the rain is pouring down a cheap plastic poncho really is the only thing that will keep you dry
  • Don't get sentimental, that cool bag that you have had for years really must be thrown away after you've dropped it in the mud for the umpteenth time.
  • Take ear plugs, the music plays until 5am and when that stops the snoring starts (along with the couple having noisy sex in the tent nearby)


Here's a little montage of some of the many photos taken over the weekend.



Did you spot Alex from CBeebies in there??



Background music from : Danosongs 

20 comments:

  1. it actually sounds quite hellish! I'd maybe go for the day? what an experience though. :-)

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  2. jessies_online27 June 2011 13:37

    it probably sounds much worse than it was.....and looking again at the photos I did take rather a lot of muddy ones...the battery ran out just as the sun came out! x

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  3. CaraFreckles27 June 2011 13:50

    I'm going to show this to my 16YO who has just been telling me over lunch how much she wants to go to Glastonbury next time. Is the few hours of great music worth all that mud? She thinks it would be, i'm thinking the bum-wiping hand point you raise answers my question. Great post, thank you.

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  4. jessies_online27 June 2011 13:54

    you're welcome.......I hope it works for you, but if she's anything like my 10yr old I fear it will do the opposite, the more mud he saw the cooler he thought it would be to go!!

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  5. It looks like you had a fab time Helen, I am just sad we didn't get to meet you but I am sure our paths will cross at some event in the future xx

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  6. `brilliant - loved the sense of humour in the bullet points and the great slideshow :-)
    Sorry about the mud. It goes with the territory doesn't it.
    We missed you.
    Liska xxx

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  7. jessies_online27 June 2011 18:01

    I hope so Katie, from what I have seen of you on photos & video you looked absolutely gorgeous for CM, glad you had a good time x

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  8. Oh my God, that is my idea of hell! The thought of camping is bad enough, but with that amount of mud, noise, alcohol and rubbish I'd never cope!

    Love the photo montage, and yes, I did spot our Alex!

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  9. jessies_online27 June 2011 20:45

    ha ha, you don't want me to get you a ticket next time then??!

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  10. anthea barton27 June 2011 20:49

    Well done you ... not sure how I'd have coped with all that mud and my 3 mini me's. Might well have pushed me over or I'd have at least pushed someone in! Fingers crossed the rain stays away for Camp Bestival!

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  11. Mummyandthebeastie27 June 2011 22:37

    I very much enjoyed reading this whilst eating my lunch at work, I have only just managed to watch the photo montage and it's great. It's a mud fest, I wouldn't have coped at all so you are a star. Looks like it was a weekend to remember though :-) xx

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  12. jessies_online27 June 2011 23:14

    just looked at Camp Bestival, looks great....not sure I could cope taking the kids to Glasto, my 10yr old really wants to go, his sister rather wouldn't though! fingers crossed for you x

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  13. jessies_online27 June 2011 23:17

    I hope it didn't put you off your lunch too much! It was hard going at times but I'm hardcore!! ;-)

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  14. Great summary and take on the weekend! Love it!

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  15. This is simply marvellous! I saw the Smiths at Glasto back in the 80's....it rained then too!!! xxxx

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  16. jessies_online28 June 2011 14:33

    it must be the influence of Morrissey, although he doesn't seem to sound as depressing as I remember.......in fact, I rather have a soft spot for him in his maturer years!!

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  17. I think I would have liked to be able to say I have been once but camping, rain and mud really aren't me. Looks like you still had a good weekend. next year we will all have to go to Cybermummy it would have been great to meet you x

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  18. ugghhh you are brave! Have never ever camped, never mind in that much mud. I missed out on Cybermummy and the great Bob party too this year - was my Birthday weekend and I spent it chasing ghosties and shrieking people around the London Tombs overnight. Was huge fun, not a welly in sight!

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  19. jessies_online19 July 2011 13:59

    sounds like huge fun.....hopefully there will be another Dildo Bob party we can join in with next year! Have you found any old photos of yourself yet???? I'm intrigued!

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  20. @welshmumwales29 August 2011 21:18

    I went to Glastonbury in the late 80's - with Happy Mondays & the Hot House Flowers. I'm not sure that I could face it now

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